Chapter 180: Don’t do this to me, please
(Inside the mist again)
The air shifted.
A whisper of movement...too deliberate to be the wind...brushed against the edges of the mist.
Kieran’s grip on Autumn’s hand tightened a fraction before...in one swift motion, he yanked her against his chest.
Her breath hitched as his arm hooked beneath her knees, lifting her effortlessly, her body folding into the heat of him.
His other hand flexed, claws unsheathing...glinting in the muted light. "Don’t move! Something is out there... it’s coming for us... " Autumn’s breath caught...her fingers curled instinctively into the fabric of his shirt.That voice was not loud... it rang inside her head... just like the wolf’s. Autumn looked up at Kieran... but he wasn’t looking back at her. His gaze was focused... his brows were squinting.
Autumn’s eyes seeked his for a while ,then she slid her fingers beneath his shirt, seeking skin.Her palms met the hard plane of his stomach,and she felt the coiled tension in his muscles, the rapid fire beat of his heart beneath her cheek. Sweat dampened his skin...the salt and warmth flooding her senses.
But she needed closer.
She burrowed in, lips parting against his collarbone, her own pulse wild...erratic.
Something was circling them... yet her heart beat faster, but not with fear... it was like she was waking up... remembering... her body before her mind...
She felt it in the way Kieran’s body turned, slow.
Apparently he was tracking an unseen presence just beyond the veil of mist...his claws twitched...his breath steady despite the predator’s stillness in his limbs... yet Autumn could feel the distinct tremors, the heat coursing through those muscles differently, where she touched him...
Her thighs pressed tighter against his waist, her nails dragging lightly over his ribs. Another shudder rolled through him...subtle, but she caught it... her own body reacted to his reaction... " Autumn! " And then she heard that raspy voice breathe inside her head again. " Stay still... you are not making this easy! "
The mist thickened, curling upward... Autumn lost clear sight of the landscape around them...
A shadow flickered at the edge of her vision...but then it was gone before she could focus.
Kieran’s chest rumbled.
Autumn’s breath came faster, her body arching unconsciously into his.
The danger surrounding them should have chilled her. But instead, heat pooled low in her belly,insistent. His scent wrapped around her, drowning out reason.
There was another shift in the mist.
Closer this time.
Kieran’s claws flexed. His grip on her tightened, fingers splayed protectively ...possessively over the curve of her thigh.
She should have been afraid of what was happening... but the spike in adrenaline... the hint of danger only made her craving worse...all she could think about... was more... more of him... more of this maddening sensation...
His jaw brushed against her temple as he turned his head suddenly, tracking the unseen thing moving just beyond sight. She could feel the vibration of his growl where her lips hovered over his throat... his Adam’s apple as it bobbled up and down...
Autumn raised her fingers... trembling... hoping to touch... To trace...
But then a branch snapped.
Autumn’s fingers dug into the skin of his Adam’s apple.
Kieran went utterly still.
Waiting...maybe for the threat to make its next move or maybe for Autumn to loosen her grip...
The mist coiled even tighter.
And then there was a whisper...a breath... too close... it definitely didn’t feel like it belonged to someone living...
Kieran’s arm around her shifted, pulling her deeper into the shelter of his body as his claws lifted, poised to strike if needed...
But then ,instead of any further movement...there was...Silence... utter silence...
The presence vanished.
But the air remained charged...like something unresolved... like the retreating of a tide, only to strike back...
Autumn exhaled, her lips grazing the hammering pulse at the base of Kieran’s throat.
Kieran didn’t relax.
Neither did she.
Because this was no longer about the thing in the mist.
It was the way his hand slid higher up her thigh, fingers pressing into her skin like he had forgotten they weren’t alone... in the middle of danger... unknown...
Like he didn’t care.
And the way she ached for it.
He looked into her eyes... she held his gaze... and leaned in... eyes fluttering... sparkling almost... with need... but then...
Autumn’s breath came out in a sharp gasp.
Her spine arched suddenly in Kieran’s arms, and her fingers clutched her head as if something had struck her from the inside.
"Autumn?" Kieran barked out loud...the game of disguise forgotten, discarded...
His voice was ragged now, laced with alarm. His claws retracted instantly, his arm sliding beneath her shoulders, trying to anchor her. But she was trembling... shaking violently against him.
"No...no...no," she whispered, voice cracking as her head dropped against his chest. "Stop. Make it stop...."
The mist was still thick around them, but Kieran didn’t look away from her anymore. The threat, whatever it was, could have been breathing down his neck...but it didn’t matter anymore.
Autumn was breaking... something was happening to her...
Her breaths were ragged gasps now, and then...the flashes hit... she was starting to remember...
A golden field drenched in twilight.
Kieran, bare chested...but then he was marking a girl that was not Autumn...it was Lyla.
His body pressed over her sister...her mate giving away their sacred bond so easily to someone else...
Then she remembered the warmth in her womb. Two heartbeats inside her body, fluttering like butterfly wings.Her babies.She grabbed her belly... she had forgotten them too...
Then there was another night...dark, desperate. Her body pressed into his. Kieran’s mouth on her throat, his hands bruising her hips, loving her like the world was ending... and then that promise... "I will come back to you... " But now... it all felt like a horrible joke... her heart clenched too hard. She was losing her breath... hyperventilating...
Another flash.
Vera.
Kieran hugging her right in front of Autumn like she didn’t even exist...
" Ahhh! No! No! Make it stop...someone...please..." Autumn’s scream ripped from her throat...
Kieran staggered beneath the force...the intensity of her scream, his arms tightening around her. "Autumn...Autumn, look at me, please...!"
But she was sobbing now.Sobbing like she was dying.
Her nails scraped his chest, clawing as if to rip something out of him. Her pain, or his betrayal, or all of it at once.
He lowered to the ground with her, sinking to his knees, but she clung to him so desperately he couldn’t set her down. Couldn’t move an inch.
She was breaking in his arms.
"I am sorry," he whispered fiercely, rocking her now like a child. "I am sorry, baby, I am so sorry, please don’t remember any of it...please, Autumn..."
He pressed his cheek to her hair and still her sobs tore through him.
"Forget it," he whispered. "Forget it all. I will take you away from it. We will start over. Just don’t...don’t look at me like that again, please..."
His voice cracked.
She didn’t stop crying.
Didn’t stop shaking.
She was howling at this point, her fists pounding against his chest before going limp again, only to rise and beat at him once more, screaming incoherent words into his skin.
And he took it silently...
He let her scratch, scream, thrash... hit him with her everything...
All he did was hold her tighter.
"I never meant for this," he breathed against her temple. "If I could go back, if I could burn fate itself to fix it...I would. I swear it."
He kissed her temple, her forehead, her cheek...everywhere her tears had touched.
"I will make it right. I will make it better. I swear to you...Autumn.I swear on our babies...I will spend every moment...waking or sleeping...for the rest of my life making it all up to the three of you...I will..."
But it was as if she wasn’t listening... or perhaps the words didn’t quite reach her ears...
Then suddenly...
She let out a loud, shuddering sigh against his neck.
And went still... absolutely still...
He froze.
Pulled back a fraction, brushing her hair from her face with trembling fingers.
Her eyes were closed now.
Her breathing was shallow.
And her body... soft. Limp...Unconscious.
It seemed like it was too much for her to take... her body had given up, unable to cope with the realisation...
"No...dammit..." Kieran whispered, the panic rising again. "Don’t do this to me. Autumn..."
But she was gone. Not dead. Just... gone from him. Pulled back into herself like a flower folding against nightfall.
He let out a broken breath, cradling her against him, holding onto her tighter...lowering his forehead to hers.
She wasn’t screaming anymore... she wasn’t thrashing... Wasn’t clawing him... Wasn’t hitting him...
And that hurt more.
He pressed a kiss to her damp forehead, fingers trembling around her body as he tucked her closer, shielding her once more from his own sins...
"I have got you, my love, " he whispered. "Even if you never want me again... I will never let you go."
He stayed there.
On the forest floor.
Holding her like she was the last piece of something sacred in a vile world...watching her unnatural peace... his heart aching...
But then all of a sudden... he heard that growl... not too close... but just outside the mist... watching the two of them...