Chapter 256: Not done yet
[ Back at Autumn’s fortress ]
Autumn did not move for some time.
She had told herself she hated him. Told herself she would never falter again. Yet even as the words echoed in her mind, she kept staring at Kieran.
She simply could not look away... he was right there... so close... yet it all seemed so far away...
She stared at the way his face, even bloodied and pale, carried that infuriating quiet strength. At the faint rise and fall of his chest...or was it only her imagination?
Her breath caught at that.
Suddenly, instant panic clawed through her. She couldn’t hear him breathe. She couldn’t actually see the rise and fall...not exactly like it was supposed to be.
Was he...?
"No..." The whisper tore out of her throat. Her hand shook as she lowered it, pressing her palm flat against his chest.
She held it there. Waited.
A beat. Weak. Faint. But it was there.
Still, she was not satisfied. Her panic did not calm down at all.
Slowly, as if compelled by something outside her control, she leaned down.
Her ear brushed against his bare chest, her cheek resting on his warm skin.
And there...she heard it again.
That uneven, fragile heartbeat.
Thud... pause... thud...
It was not steady yet, but he was alive. And the moment the sound filled her ears, something inside her shattered.
All hatred. All anger. All reason.They dissolved into nothingness.
Her eyes slipped shut. Her breathing slowed.
And in that instant, there was only peace.
A peace she had not known in what felt like forever. A peace that made her ache so deeply, she almost couldn’t breathe.
"Why..." she whispered, her lips barely moving. "Why do you still have this power over me, Kieran? Why do I feel safe when you should repulse me to my core? Why? "
Her hand trembled as it shifted against his chest, clutching at his muscles, as though she could anchor herself to that fragile sound.
She should have moved away. She should have torn herself back before the weakness consumed her.
But instead...without realizing, without intending...she leaned even closer into him.
Her body molded against the warmth he still carried. Her cheek lingered on him, her lashes brushing against his tough skin as she closed her eyes again.
And she stayed.
For a moment.
For a breath.
For an eternity compressed into the span of a heartbeat.
"...it feels...just like before..." The words broke, trembling from her throat, cracking with sorrow. "Do you remember? When our nights were long, and you came to me with wounds you wouldn’t let anyone else see... and I would hold you like this until you slept? Do you even remember that man you used to be?"
Her voice faltered. The fortress gave no answer. Only the ice hummed softly beneath him.
" But you always have been an asshole, haven’t you, Kieran? I do remember how you treated me when we first met... I hated you back then... "
Her voice quivered if only a little.
" I hated you until you made it impossible for me to hate you anymore... " Autumn clutched Kieran’s hand unintentionally...squeezing it way too hard...harder than actually intended.
" Ah!! Kieran... Ah!" At last, she forced herself to lift her head,heaving a deep sigh. " At one point in my life, you were my whole world. I swear I would have given my life on a silver platter if only you had commanded..."
Autumn tried to sit up straight...pushing away. Slow. Reluctant. Like tearing away from something her soul clung to.
" I never was ambitious ever in my life... I never thought... ever... that I deserved happiness... but you made me crave for it..."
Her gaze fell to his face. Pale. Still. His lips parted faintly as though caught between breaths.
" I never understood what changed everything...Were you... were you always like this? Unpredictable? Selfish? Or... "
Her eyes burned.
" Or... was it just me??? Foolish me? Hanging on to promises you never made... ? "
Her chest heaved once, then again, until finally the tears broke loose again.
One fell.
It landed at the corner of his mouth, sliding down slowly.
Autumn’s lips parted, her breath ragged.
Her hand rose, trembling. She leaned closer, her voice breaking into a whisper that was not quite steady, not quite sane.
"This doesn’t count..." Her mouth twisted into a bitter, fragile smile. "You won’t even remember this..."
Her head bowed lower, her hair falling like a dark curtain around them both.
"...so it doesn’t matter if I..."
Her lips touched his...too soft...too tender...and trembling...catching the salt of her own tear.
It was not a kiss.
Not in the technical sense of the action. Only the faintest brush, enough to take back the drop she had left upon him.
But her heart betrayed her, beating wildly...aching as if it was everything she had denied herself.
When she pulled back, she drew a shaking breath.
Her tears did not stop.
And still she whispered, softer than silence...
"...this doesn’t count, Kieran Blackmoon."
Despite her words...Autumn lingered there a heartbeat longer...her lips still tingling with the ghost of what she had just stolen.
Then, still a little shaky but gathering her resolve, she pushed herself upright.
Her fingers brushed her damp lashes, wiping nothing away, because the tears kept coming.
"Enough..." she murmured to herself. The words were more of a plea than a command or a request. "Enough of this weakness."
Some how,her body moved sluggishly...like each muscle resisted the act of leaving him.
Still, she turned...slow, reluctant, every inch of her fighting the decision...until her back was to him.
Her steps faltered. One. Two. And then...
A jolt.
Warmth clamped around her wrist. Warm fire.
Her breath stopped.
The air vanished from her lungs as she stared down at his hand...wrapped tightly around her.
Her pulse thundered.
Her head snapped over her shoulder, eyes wide.
"Kieran..."
The name was almost soundless.
He did not look at her. His eyes were still closed, his face still pale with exhaustion.
But...there. At the corner of his mouth... a smirk played...almost subtle...yet distinct some how. A lazy, infuriating, unmistakable simper tugging at his lips.
Her chest constricted with fury and panic and something else she did not dare name.
"You..." She wrenched her arm, but his grip only tightened. "Let go of my hand, Kieran!"
Her voice cracked...too sharp...trembling...more desperate than she intended.
But he did not let go.
Instead...he pulled.
The world tilted.
Autumn gasped, stumbling forward, her balance lost in a single, traitorous second.
She landed hard against him, the impact echoing through her bones, her palms splaying across his chest as though to steady herself.
Her heart collided with his.
And suddenly...they were level.
Her eyes lifted. His eyes opened.
Slowly.
Dark. Burning. Too full of life.
He was awake.
And he was smiling.
Not the weak ghost of a smirk from before anymore. No...this was that maddening, arrogant smile that had always undone her when she least wanted it to.
Her lips parted, a soft gasp catching in her throat.
"Kieran..."
"Where do you think you are going?" His voice was low, husky with weariness yet laced with unmistakable intent.
His hand slid up, fingers threading against hers where she still pressed against his chest. "I am not done kissing you yet."