Chapter 222: The Fool
The courtyard was alive with quiet movement. Horses stood tall, their reins glinting in the soft light, while servants hurried about, loading trunks and boxes onto the carriages. The morning air was warm, carrying with it the smell of earth and flowers. It was spring, and everything in the palace seemed to hum with life, but Lydia’s heart felt heavy and lifeless.
She was already dressed for the journey back to Svetlana. Her gown was grey, simple yet elegant, with a soft fabric that fell gently to her feet. It was chosen not to draw attention, but it still carried grace. Her dark hair was pinned neatly into a chignon at the nape of her neck. Katherine had overseen everything, and Xenia had been fussing over the last touches while Anna stood silently by, her eyes red from holding back tears.
When Lydia stepped out of her chamber, her ladies followed. Katherine was already prepared, her composure calm though her eyes kept moving to Lydia with worry. Xenia whispered something to Anna, who nodded quietly. None of them dared disturb Lydia’s silence.
Then the door opened once more. It was Katherine who reappeared, her face composed yet serious. "We are ready. Everything is prepared for our travels, Your Highness," she said softly.
Lydia gave one small nod. "Let’s go," she replied, her voice cool and flat.
They moved together, side by side, their steps echoing softly down the polished hall. Lydia carried herself with dignity, her face calm, but inside she felt restless. Every step closer to the courtyard was a step closer to leaving behind all the pain, yet also a step closer to the emptiness waiting for her.
They had just reached the stairs when a servant ran toward them, bowing quickly. "Your Highness," he said breathlessly. "His Majesty seeks your presence. He awaits you in his study."
The words made Lydia pause. She turned her head slightly, her eyes narrowing. She glanced at Katherine, Anna, and Xenia. "Go on ahead to the courtyard," she told them quietly. "I will meet you there when I am finished."
Katherine hesitated, as if she wanted to protest, but Lydia’s gaze silenced her. With small bows, they left, leaving Lydia alone with the servant.
Her heart tightened, but her face did not show it. She walked behind the servant toward Vladimir’s study, her footsteps soft but heavy with thoughts. When they reached the great wooden door, Lydia stopped. She closed her eyes for a moment and drew in a long breath, steadying herself. Her hand rose, and she knocked gently.
From inside, Vladimir’s voice came, calm yet carrying weight. "Come in."
Lydia opened the door and stepped inside. The room was filled with warmth from the tall windows, the light spilling across the dark wood of the desk and shelves. Vladimir sat behind his desk, his posture straight, his eyes already on her.
She bowed respectfully. "Your Majesty."
For a long moment, Vladimir just looked at her. His eyes were calm, but in their depths there was something sad, something tired. Lydia noticed it but said nothing.
"I see you are headed back to Svetlana," Vladimir said finally, his tone quiet. "Your Highness."
Lydia’s face remained unreadable. Her voice, when she spoke, was cold. "You called for me. I believe it is not to say goodbye. Why did you call me, Your Majesty?"
Vladimir let out a small sigh. He leaned back in his chair, his gaze never leaving her. "You are right. I did not call you here to say goodbye." He paused, then added in a softer tone, "I only called to apologise. For everything. I am so sorry, Lydia. For everything."
The words touched her, but her face did not move. She stared back at him, her voice cutting and clear. "It is too late for apologies."
"I know," Vladimir said, nodding slowly. His eyes looked tired, like he was carrying more than one burden. "I know there is nothing I can do now. Nothing I can undo. But I just wanted to ask you one thing." His voice grew quieter. "Why didn’t you come to me? Why didn’t you tell me? About the baby. I would have done something. I would have protected you."
For a moment, Lydia felt her breath catch. Her heart twisted inside her chest, but she fought to remain calm. She lowered her eyes, her voice trembling slightly though she tried to keep it steady. "I know."
Vladimir leaned forward. "Then why?" His voice was pained, filled with confusion. "Why did you carry it alone?"
Lydia closed her eyes. For a moment, silence hung between them, heavy and suffocating. Then she spoke, her words low, bitter, and full of regret. "Because I was foolish. Young and foolish. I was so blindly in love with him that I believed he had reasons. That he would come back. That he didn’t abandon me. I thought he had a plan, that there was something behind his silence. I told myself he would return." Her voice broke slightly. "But it was all a lie. And I regret it."
The silence grew again. Vladimir’s lips parted, as if he wanted to speak, but he couldn’t find the words. He looked at her with sorrow, but she stood straight, her face now cold again, her heart sealed.
"I believe I have answered your question," Lydia said firmly. "Or is there anything else, Your Majesty?"
Vladimir lowered his eyes, his voice almost a whisper. "No. You may leave."
Lydia bowed with dignity. "As you wish."
She turned, her hand on the door. Her heart was heavy, her eyes burning though she would not allow herself to cry. She pulled the door open and stepped into the doorway.
And there he was.
Ivan.
He stood just outside, tall and unmovable, his eyes fixed on her. For one breathless second, the world seemed to stop. Lydia’s heart pounded, but her face hardened instantly. She lifted her chin and walked past him without a word, without a glance. She walked as if he were nothing more than a shadow on the wall, as if he had never existed in her life.
Ivan’s chest tightened painfully as she brushed by him. Her silence cut deeper than any words, her coldness heavier than any punishment. He stood frozen, his eyes following her retreating figure, but she never looked back. Not once.
Behind her, the sound of her steps grew smaller, but the ache inside both of them grew larger.