Chapter 163: Chapter 163
Music Recommendation: Wrong by Chris Grey.
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Elias’s voice gentled again, low and trembling: "I love you, Amara. I don’t know when it happened. I don’t even know if I deserve to say it. But I can’t keep swallowing it back. Not after seeing you like this, and not after I realized you don’t mind how long I stay away, like I don’t matter to you at all."
Amara’s throat worked, her body rigid, as if bracing for war with herself.
Elias’s voice broke, jagged and low, as if he was clawing the words out of his chest.
"I love you, Amara. Do you hear me? I love you, and it’s tearing me apart."
His hands fisted at his sides, trembling with the restraint it took not to reach for her.
"I don’t know when it happened, I don’t even know if I have the right to say it. But I can’t—" his breath shuddered, and his teeth gritted, "I can’t bury it anymore. Not when every second I’m near you, or away from you feels like a war I’m already losing."
Amara’s throat worked, her body rigid, as though she was trying to armor herself against him.
"I love you," Elias confessed, the words cracking like thunder. "I fucking love you. It feels wrong, it feels like I’m drowning in it, but I’d rather choke on this than breathe without you. I want your midnights. I want to be someone you hold on to, and I’ll hold on to you."
Elias’s jaw tightened, and his breath ragged. "You think I want this?" His voice cracked sharp, and low, angry at himself more than at her. "You think I chose this? Amara, I swear to God, I tried to kill it. I tried to bury it so deep it would rot before it reached daylight. But it kept crawling back, clawing at me in the dark."
Amara blinked, and took a step back. Her eyes were wide, like she was staring at a plant speak. She looked so surprise.
He laughed then, a hollow, broken sound that didn’t belong to laughter at all. "I told myself it was wrong. That loving you would burn me alive. That it was burning me alive. But every time I looked at you, every time you breathed near me—" he dragged his hand through his hair, shaking his head as if fighting himself, "I realized it was already too late."
Amara’s fingers trembled at her sides, but she didn’t move again. Her silence pressed against him, daring him to go on, and at the same time, daring him to stop.
"I love you," Elias snarled, but the word cracked open like a wound. "I hate that I love you. I hate what it makes me. But even hating it doesn’t change the truth. I love you so much it’s destroying me, and I can’t—" his chest heaved, his voice dropped to a hoarse whisper, "I can’t breathe without it anymore."
He looked at her then, his eyes dark, and wild, pleading for her to either save him or finish him. "So hate me. Hate me for saying it. Hate me for meaning it. But don’t you dare tell me it isn’t real."
Amara swallowed hard, her chest tightening as though the walls themselves were closing in on her alone.
She had braced herself for Elias’s persistence, for his shadow outside her door, and for the stubborn weight of his presence. In fact, she had braced herself for him to leave her soon. But not this. Not love.
Not that word, spoken with such ruin, like it had carved itself into him against his will.
Her lips parted, but the air tangled in her throat. The silence stretched, humming, thick with rain against the windows and his ragged breathing.
"Elias," she whispered, but his name came out broken. It came out as a warning, a plea, and denial.
He took a step closer, slow, and deliberate. He stood before her like a man stripped bare of his masks.
Her fingers curled into fists at her sides. "You don’t get to come here and say that," she snapped, but her voice wavered. "Not after everything. Not after—"
"Not after what?" His voice cut through her protest, rough and trembling. "Not after I’ve protected you when you didn’t want me near? Not after I’ve bled keeping your world safe without you ever asking? Not after I’ve burned every damn rule just to stand here and tell you the truth?"
Her throat closed. His eyes were a wildfire she couldn’t look away from.
"You told me to stay out of your life," Elias went on, quieter now, but sharper for it. "I tried. I tried. A week without you was hell, Amara. Do you understand? That was beyond hell. I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t breathe without feeling you under my skin." His voice cracked again. "So if you want me gone, say it. Tell me you feel nothing, and I’ll walk out that door and never come back."
He meant every word he said. If she says she wanted him gone, he’ll walk out of that door, and disappear from her life. He’d even go as far as dropping his assignment, and asking Carlos to assign him with another task.
Amara’s lips trembled. She hated how much her chest ached at his words. She hated the fire spreading in her veins when he was this close.
She wanted to scream at him, and to nonchalantly throw the words back in his face. But her body betrayed her.
"Say it," Elias pressed, softer this time, as though the word itself could kill him. "Say you don’t want me, Amara. Say it, and I’ll go."
The silence roared between them. Rain lashed harder against the glass, like the storm outside was waiting for her answer too.
Once again, her lips parted. Nothing came out.
Elias’s chest rose and fell, his breath shallow, waiting. This was him betting on his entire well being, and the hell that could unleash in the world if she pushes him away.
Finally, Amara shook her head, a tiny, trembling motion. "You shouldn’t be here," she whispered. "You shouldn’t—"
But she never finished, because Elias’s hand lifted, hovering in the space between them. He was not touching, not daring, but he was just close enough that she could feel the heat of him. His restraint trembled visibly.
"Then tell me to stop," he murmured, voice raw, eyes locked on hers. "Tell me, and I swear I will."
Amara’s heart hammered so violently it felt like it would split her ribs. Her lips parted again, but the words refused to form.
And in the silence that followed, her lack of answer was louder than anything she could have said.
"Fuck, Belle!" Elias cursed, and in the next second, he closed the distance, wrapping his arms around her, and slamming their lips together.
Amara wrapped her arms around him, and jumped on him, kissing him back. She wrapped her legs around his waist, and kissed him back.
Elias deepened the kiss, and moulded her really soft ass.
PS: Imagine the rest of the scene, guys.