By the time John got back with Lee and Nahua, Aclysia had gathered all of the maids. Whatever division the harem had agreed on for the duration of John’s stay, it was superseded by an emergency meeting of the maid cadre. Aclysia, Beatrice, Claire, Delicia, Ehtra and Momo all waited for the returning trio in an office room within the mansion. The black-white décor and overall maid-themed decoration of the walls made John believe that his head maid may have created this room for the express purpose of maid meetings. For all he knew, this wasn’t the first one that happened here either.

“Is my presence wanted?” John asked, after they had entered.

“”Master, your presence is always wanted!”” Aclysia and Delicia said at the same time, in the same venerating tone. The latter broke out into smug laughter afterwards.

“Bwahahahaha! So predictable!” The shortstack repeatedly smacked her left thigh, creating loud clapping noises that only ended because Momo snapped her fingers. Somehow, that put Delicia on mute for the duration of her laughing fit. If the alchemist noticed, she did not care.

Watching her motioning about amusedly without making a sound was amusing in and of itself. John, however, had to specify further on his question, “Is it appropriate for me to witness this talk? I know some of the harem talks are better to be had without me around.”

“Girl time is girl time, this is a meeting of your maids, Master, you are invited whenever it pleases you.”

“Alright… where do I sit?” John wanted to be present for this one, because he always found it interesting to see the inner workings of the arguably most condensed package of crazy in his harem. It really was difficult to say whether the maids, with all of their obsessive tendencies, or the chaos brigade earned that title. Well, no, if John was being honest, the chaos brigade won handily. Eliana alone dragged the crazy in the group up to far above average, and with Aclysia more reserved these days...

Aclysia got up from her ornate chair at the head of the table and gestured for John to take the place. “I am acting as the extension of your authority as coordinator of the maids. You are forever the true head of the household, Master,” the first of his servants stated.

Taking the invitation, John walked up to the spot, ruffling Ehtra’s hair in passing, and earning himself her sweet-sour blushing glare in response. “I’m only here because I respect hierarchies!” the angel insisted, while he sat down.

“Sure,” John agreed too quickly to be serious. Once he was seated at the table of black-white wood, Aclysia assumed her position to his right. There was none more deserving of that position than her. From the beginning, his first Artificial Spirit, his first maid, had been his right hand woman and to this day her mark was the only one on the ring finger of his right hand. Similarly, Rave’s mark was the only one on his left ring finger.

The only other finger that had a singular mark on it was his right middle finger, currently belonging to Eliana. Considering that his left middle finger was shared by Nathalia and Ehtra, that was likely a coincidence. The ring fingers felt more deliberate, although that could have been John’s imagination.

John looked down the length of the table. To his left were Beatrice, Claire and Ehtra, to his right were Momo and Delicia. Between their seats was a whole step of space. Two more seats were currently empty.

“Should I be here?” Lee asked next.

“We grant you a seat at the table, but not the rank of maid, yet,” Aclysia stated.

“That’s outrageous! How can you sit at the table and not be a maid of Master?!”

John’s brain rot became audible through his nose. The only thing that made this meme reference less funny was that Lee used it every time they were in this situation. The unofficial sixth of his servants sat down next to Delicia.

‘I got A, B, C, D, E, and L, M, and am about to add N… should I get F, G, H, I, J and K to connect the row?’ the Gamer thought then laughed some more at the absurdity of it all. Finding six more maids just to fill out the alphabet felt like the kind of project his harem was too big for to pursue. Plus, chasing women based on the first letter of their name was a bit much even for him. ‘I should check in on Fianna.’

“Nahua, please take a seat,” Aclysia instructed. “Momo, begin chronicling the meeting.”

“Already doing it,” Momo responded. “First question on that one: should I write down Nahua or Nahoa?”

A justified question. The implied pronunciation of the spelling ‘Nahua’ had a heavy emphasis on the ‘u’ sound. A sound that did not properly exist in Nahuatl, making the proper pronunciation ‘Nahoa’. Why it was written the way it was in English was a question for the linguists.

John decided to escalate the issue a tad. “A good general question, actually. You won’t run into as much confusion with the public if we display your name as Nahoa on official documents and such.”

The axolotl maid shrugged. “It is, like, so not important to me what way you spell my name in your letters, right?”

“Nahoa it is then,” John made the matter a short one.

“Nahoa-xoco-atl-xolotl,” Aclysia continued the talk, “I have singularly allowed you to don the outfit of Master’s maid cadre as reward for your actions in defending his supremacy. We now have to decide whether this is a temporary arrangement or if you are worthy of the black and white. We shall now deliver our evaluations. Beatrice, you shall begin. We continue in alphabetical order, but finish with me.”

“Evaluation: Nahoa has participated in several of our activities so far and proven capable in all of them. Keen attention to detail has been observed. Her mathematical skills are basic, which suffices outside of assistance in my duties. Good at carving meat. I believe she would make for a good assistant cook.”

“I agree, I agree, and I agree,” Claire mused. “Experience is her hurdle and unlike Lee she has the time to dedicate herself to overcoming it.”

“Hey, another hand in the kitchen means I have to cook less broths and more potions, so I’m all for her,” Delicia gave her opinion. “Although I think we are currently at a size where extra hands aren’t really needed. Between Ehtra joining and Momo’s support crew, we have all the cleaning power we need until the kids come rolling in.”

“I would add that Nahoa has a duty to her people as well, even if only as a symbol,” Ehtra stated. “I doubt she can be a full time maid like Aclysia and Claire are. That being said, if my opinion on this counts, she fits in aesthetically and by temperament. She says… uhm…” Ehtra stopped for a moment, “…M-master properly!”

“What are you getting all bashful for?” Lee teased, only for the angel to harumph and avert her gaze. “Okay, so, little sway I have here… Nahoa is picking up all the things I had to way faster. She obviously likes cleanliness and… okay, I hate to bring it up, but you like food by nature.”

“A reprehensible origin, but true nonetheless,” the demigoddess of gluttony agreed. “A full return of my taste buds would help in that endeavour.”

“John can doubtlessly arrange that,” Momo weighed in. “He’s got Perks of the like for Aclysia, Metra and Claire, no reason why you should be left out. As for my evaluation… I’ve got nothing to add.”

Attention shifted back to the head maid. Ponytail swaying, Aclysia nodded robotically. “It would be a waste not to add you to the main kitchen staff. Beside me, no one is truly skilled at cooking. Beatrice can prepare ingredients just fine, but overvalues nutritional value. Claire has no sense for spice balance, courtesy of growing up in deprivation. Lee can make things taste good, but has no care for nutritional balance. Also, she always goes for the quickest recipes.”

“That’s not true, I also go for the recipes that are alone in the oven for an hour!” Lee defended her honour.

“The point is made. Delicia is a proper cook, but she has other duties… and she is not built to use the same kitchen as I.”

“Everything is so high up!” Delicia complained. “Shrink, woman, shrink!”

Momo snickered. “Also, she keeps losing things in the shadow of her boobs.”

“Very funny, washboard.”

“Flat is justice!”

Aclysia clapped her hands twice, bringing the table back to order. “Ehtra and Momo have and had no taste buds, so they are useless when it comes to cooking. In consequence, a second actual cook will be much appreciated. Your additional duties would of course include cleaning. Anything beyond that is subject to further analysis. Does this find your agreement?”

“Yes,” Nahoa answered without hesitation.

“Then, as head maid of our beloved Master, I hereby acknowledge you as part of the maid cadre. Which means…” Aclysia stepped away from John’s side to reach into a shelf. She pulled out several copies of the same folder, placing one in front of each of the seated maids. “…we now have to adjust our plans for the greetings formation.”

“Statement: Nahoa and Ehtra should be the outermost duo in the full-line up. As the two dark-skinned members, they would make for a pleasant framing.”

“Wouldn’t Nahoa and Delicia be better? Since they’re the shortest?” Momo asked.

“Am I going to be included in this now?” Lee asked.

“”Yes,”” all of the other maids answered as one.

John knocked twice on the wood. “Alright, ladies, I’ll leave you to this,” he announced and collected his goodbye kisses. While he liked watching these evaluations, he did not need to be there to find out how they planned out every combination of maids to greet him at the door. That was something to be surprised by and the kind of discussion he had little to no input on anyway.

He returned to the spacious living room just in time to hear the oven beep. In the absence of Aclysia, Salamander took over the last bit of kitchen duty. Since the maids did not need to eat and only Claire did so with regularity, they went ahead without them. Of course, it was delicious and twenty minutes later nothing of the casserole remained.

John took his post-food rest in a broad armchair. Nia and Undine took to his lap, a silent combination that was happy to just cuddle with him. Rather than read their words, John interpreted their body language. The affectionate, cat-like rubs of Nia’s cheek against his. Undine’s steady caress of his slightly expanded midriff, betraying a fascination with the way he was loaded with food. Women could be fascinated by the oddest things, but then again he was staring at the shape of a clavicle on Undine and wondered how exactly this worked on a slime woman. He knew for a fact she did not have a skeleton.

“So, who’s fighting tomorrow?” Salamander wanted to know.

“Hyozuma versus Anna is first… which I don’t see going well for Hyozuma. Since Anna’s power is based on her hands, his thieving Innate Ability shouldn’t be of any benefit. We’ll see if he proves me wrong on that one though. Level wise, they are pretty close, so if he brings a weapon he may be able to win in a simple beatdown.”

“After that, the drug-fiend advances automatically,” Nathalia weighed in. “He would be facing Jane, but since she is properly dropping out now, there will be no fight. Entertaining as it would be.”

“Indeed,” John confirmed. “Justinian versus Splatterknight… will doubtlessly go Justinian’s way. Annoying or not, he is strong and the Splatterknight doesn’t have an Innate Ability that lends itself to hidden tactics. Then again, I may still be surprised there as well. Last round is Ankleshanker versus Haek.”

“I have a question, a stupid, stupid question!” Sylph said, arm raised. “Stupid question is: why is Ankleshanker even allowed to participate? Wasn’t this supposed to be Fusion-exclusive? Did he join Fusion?”

“That’s not a stupid question,” John told the bunny-eared elemental. “Slight correction: it’s for people living within Fusion borders. Necessary distinction for people like Justinian to come out of the woodworks and potentially join Fusion properly. In any case, Ankleshanker has a special diplomatic exemption. The diplomat negotiating with the Gobbo Nation gave it to him to get talks along.”

Said diplomat had overstepped his authority slightly when he had done that without consulting with John, but he had let it slide since it was an ultimately good move. Autonomous action like that was welcome.

“Now, how about we game a little while we digest?” John suggested, gesturing towards the screen. “And after that… we should do the usual.”

Lewd smiles went all around.