He ultimately couldn't bring himself to harm Murong Jinyun, even though she no longer held any place in his heart. He was incapable of such heartlessness.
All he could do now was find ways to protect her and ensure her safety, which was his utmost effort.
Baili Xi's gaze drifted to the window, the bright moonlight casting a glow upon his desk. The moon tonight was truly beautiful, reminiscent of the first time he met Murong Jinyun. It was under such a beautiful moon that he first saw her dancing.
It was the first time in his life he had ever seen such a beautiful girl. One glance was all it took, and he was smitten.
In his childhood, due to his family's background, he was chosen as a companion to the Crown Prince, which gave him the opportunity to move within the imperial harem and to see Murong Jinyun often.
But she was a princess, held in the highest regard, immensely noble. He, on the other hand, was merely a lowly official. How could he be worthy of standing beside a princess? Merely catching a glimpse of her from afar was already a great honor for him.
This affection he harbored for Murong Jinyun remained hidden in his heart, unknown to anyone.
He never dared to hope that the princess's gaze would linger upon him. As long as the princess lived a good life, he would be content. Even if she were to marry someone else, he would willingly accept it.
Baili Xi sighed helplessly. He was a coarse man, how could he be worthy of a princess? This sentiment was destined to remain hidden in his heart for his entire life.
Now, the princess had chosen a path entirely opposite to his. Their ways diverged, and they could not conspire together. The princess must now find him utterly detestable, and would not spare him another glance.
…
"Who allowed you out of bed? You're still practicing swordplay here. Hurry back to your room and rest!"
Feng Jin's furious voice echoed throughout the courtyard. She had never imagined that after she had only been gone for a short while, Ling Mohan would dare to get out of bed and practice swordplay instead of staying put. It was as if he had no regard for his own life.
His wounds, if they were to reopen, would be beyond even divine healing. She was so infuriated by his recklessness that she wished she could tie him to the bed for the rest of his life, preventing him from ever getting up.
Ling Mohan's hand, gripping the sword, trembled slightly. He hadn't expected Feng Jin to return so soon. He had been confined to bed for so many days that his bones felt as if they were about to shatter. He had seized the opportunity while Feng Jin was out to get up and move around a little.
He had barely gotten out of bed and warmed his hands around the sword when Feng Jin returned, catching him red-handed.
"My injuries have healed. You can't expect me to lie in bed forever. I just came down to move around a bit. Don't worry, I'll be fine."
How could he not know that Feng Jin was being so cautious because she cared about him?
Although he felt restricted and uncomfortable with the lack of freedom, his heart was warmed, and he was quite happy to be managed by Feng Jin in this way.
Ling Mohan quickly set aside the sword in his hand and, with an appeasing gesture, walked towards Feng Jin, ushering her forward.
"Slow down, don't trip..."
"I have good hands and feet, and I'm not injured. You don't need to be so cautious. On the contrary, you know your injuries haven't healed yet, but you insisted on such strenuous exercise. Do you know that if your wounds reopen, they will be very difficult to heal again..."
"Won't you be the one suffering then? Why are you so unconcerned about yourself? Do you have to make me so angry that I die before you'll be happy!"
Her chest was filled with a surge of anger. If Ling Mohan wasn't injured, she would have kicked him several times to vent her frustration.
Ling Mohan knew he was in the wrong and humbly accepted Feng Jin's reprimand, not daring to utter a single word in response.
Feng Jin let out a long sigh. After scolding Ling Mohan like this, she finally felt a little better. "What are you still standing here for? Hurry back to your room!"
"Alright, I'm going back to my room. Please don't be angry. Excessive anger can harm your health. Don't make yourself sick with anger."
Ling Mohan quickly agreed, his footsteps quickening as he dashed back into the room. He swiftly threw back the covers and lay down on the bed, remaining perfectly still, looking rather endearingly foolish.
"Look at you, acting so silly..." Feng Jin took in his current appearance and couldn't resist a merciless taunt.
"Drink your medicine first."
Feng Jin handed him the bowl of medicine, and an intense herbal aroma immediately filled the room.
Ling Mohan glanced at the dark liquid in the bowl and immediately felt a wave of nausea. A sour taste surged up his throat. He had been drinking more medicine than food these past few days.
"Can I not drink it today? I already drank a bowl this morning."
He felt like even the sweat dripping from his body smelled of medicinal soup. If he continued drinking like this, his blood would turn into medicinal soup.
"No!" Feng Jin refused decisively, leaving Ling Mohan no room for rebuttal. "You ate breakfast this morning, so do you want to eat lunch? Asking these questions is a waste of time. Drink it quickly. If the medicine cools, its efficacy will diminish. Moreover, drinking cold medicine can cause diarrhea. For your own health, drink it quickly."
Feng Jin held the bowl of medicine up to Ling Mohan, her eyes signaling him to drink it down.
Ling Mohan sighed helplessly, knowing there was no room for further negotiation. He hardened his heart, took the bowl, and downed it in one gulp. The bitter taste of the soup spread through his mouth, rushing all the way to his head.
This feeling was truly exhilarating. He wondered if Feng Jin's medicine was inherently more bitter than usual, or if it was just his perception.
He hesitated for a moment, then decided to ask for clarification. "Why does this medicine taste so bitter?"
"Naturally, it's bitter. The concentration of this medicine is higher than what you've drunk before, so your wounds will heal faster. I've also added tonics to nourish your qi and blood, and strengthen your body. It will only benefit you and do no harm."
"Good medicine is bitter. The bitterness of the medicine is all for your health. Are you, a grown man, unable to tolerate bitter medicine? It would be laughable if word got out."
Feng Jin said this deliberately. She had tasted the medicine herself, and it was indeed unusually bitter. Ling Mohan had drunk it in one gulp every day for the past few days, as if he didn't feel the bitterness.
She had always assumed that Ling Mohan didn't find the medicine bitter. It turned out she had misunderstood.