Chapter 578: 394._2
However, it’s not that she can be so carefree with everyone; there are people she cannot refuse, like Sister Cheng.
For example, there would be such "work." Sister Cheng is very considerate, very kind, like an uneasy elder giving instructions to a junior, telling her to work well, pay attention to her health, go to bed early and rise early, in a completely consultative tone. The content of the work is always vague, even the department responsible for the work is unclear. Is this work for the President’s Office? Is it under President Xia’s direction? Or is it from some business department of the company? Or even a personal request from Sister Cheng?
But Su Di understands.
In the group, there are some employees who feel that these vague, untitled "work assignments" from Cheng Xiulan are the ones they truly need to take seriously. Hidden behind her unclear, gentle, chaotic, and consultative tone is a clear, stringent, and non-negotiable arrangement.
Of course, she also understands the difference in their statuses; such a man will never be short of women. She is not foolish enough to think he is flirting with a young girlfriend. Perhaps he sees her as a doll to dress up as he pleases when the mood strikes. Anyway, what’s most important is to please Mr. Shi both physically and spiritually. What he buys for her, she is naturally expected to put on a performance by undressing for him... that’s the rule in these circles: when a man buys a woman lingerie, the purpose is for her to put it on and then take it off.
In terms of understanding men’s tastes, Su Di considers herself somewhat gifted. She can discern Mr. Shi’s preferences: likes a bit of roughness, a bit of dominance, a strong desire for conquest and control; likes girls who are cute and charming, fashionable, and refined; they need to have the aura of both strength and vulnerability, strong in front of others, vulnerable in front of him; a sense of dependence is needed, yet with high physical demands, preferring athletes; the soul and character need to be submissive and delicate, but the body must not be too fragile...
She has no right to take the initiative to find Mr. Shi; that’s taboo. Mr. Shi will find her, although, in fact, it hasn’t been many times in a year, and not every time is an opportunity to sleep together - sometimes, it’s really just to have a drink with him... But Su Di doesn’t believe in romantic Plato. She needs to seize every opportunity to make Mr. Shi satisfied. She can play the roles of young girlfriend, little sister, or little princess, but she always knows that, in the end, what men always need her to play is the role of a little lover, little pet, little sex slave, using her body to endure a man’s abuse and ravage, humiliation and play.
As long as Mr. Shi is satisfied... she’s becoming more accustomed to thinking this way. Mr. Shi doesn’t give money; the "allowance" still comes from the company, but each time, Mr. Shi will give her a thoughtful and equally valuable gift.
She even went against her usual principles and introduced Lu Mi, a "little sister," to Mr. Shi, targeting his "tastes." It was after much deliberation that she made this choice. She understands men’s psychology and knows that this is another kind of statement: it’s submission, it’s docility, it’s willing to sacrifice her dignity for a man’s pleasure. "To make you happy, I can even introduce other girls to you; I’m doing everything to make you satisfied..."
Of course, she also hinted that Lu Mi was not someone from Sister Cheng, but her "private little sister," and Mr. Shi had to pay up. Mr. Shi seemed quite interested in Lu Mi’s background and even gave her a "referral fee," which was the only time Mr. Shi gave her cash.
Actually, Su Di didn’t know much about Lu Mi’s background either. Lu Mi is just sixteen or seventeen, still in the second year of high school. She is not actually in this business, at least not completely; in this circle, people tacitly agree not to inquire too much about each other’s backgrounds. She met her by chance, and they hit it off after several interactions. This little girl, though her body is charming and fit, is small and delicate, looks like a junior high student at first glance, with an air of being pitifully endearing. Not sure if it’s an act, she carries an innocent demeanor that even Su Di can’t help but have a protective instinct for. She vaguely mentioned that she seemed to have been kept by some man since she was little... since she was little? She’s only in high school, how little could that be? Which shameless beast would do that? Later, she "came to terms with it," figuring life is like this anyway, uninterested and hopeless, might as well come out to "play" and make some pocket money. But Lu Mi doesn’t have many "channels," and after getting a taste of the high life, she’s short of money more often. Introducing her to Mr. Shi was the perfect match for this kind of girl with mutual needs.
She wasn’t without jealousy, but she also saw clearly that Mr. Shi should have plenty of young, beautiful girls around him. Having one more "of her own" isn’t a bad thing. Perhaps as a kind of return, Mr. Shi would occasionally introduce some "high society" figures to support Feihong’s venue.
From this perspective, she understands that she’s been playing this game a bit too much, risking hurting herself. No matter how romantic Mr. Shi is, it’s impossible to establish a relationship with her; no matter how excellent Mr. Shi is, he’s ultimately a "friend" introduced by Sister Cheng. Getting too invested, or having feelings... in the end, she’d have nowhere to retreat. She just can’t help it... like every girl in this line of work, she has that fantasy: meeting a rich and romantic patron who can take her away from this world and ensure her expenditure and lifestyle.
But lately, she hasn’t been able to contact Lu Mi... such things are also common in this circle. Girls either go back home to marry, go abroad with a rich young man for "travel," or offend someone and get taken away, disappearing from this world as if they never existed... these are common occurrences. She even irrationally wonders: could it be introducing Lu Mi to Mr. Shi was too taboo, and Lu Mi’s "disappearance" was "arranged" by Sister Cheng?
No matter the possibility, that delicate little sister is like a reflection of herself in the mirror. She’s been feeling empty, a bit lost, and a bit scared these past two days... but there’s nothing she can do. She only has Lu Mi’s phone number and doesn’t even know where this little girl lives, where she is from, nor is there anyone she can confide in.
Yesterday, Mr. Shi asked her to go to Xiangchuan Center, and she almost felt as if she’d heard the best news in the world, ecstatic, carefully dressing herself beautifully, cleaning herself inside and out... At least Mr. Shi can give her a sense of security. As for what Mr. Shi does to her at night, what he wants her to say, do in his presence... these have already become like blessings, which she not only receives wholeheartedly but also strives to do even better...
But just now, she actually failed to control her emotions and words, saying something like that... she’s really gone mad...
"What do you mean ’Mr. Shi, can I always be with you from now on’?" If Mr. Shi wants her company, he’ll ask her, and if not, she can accompany whomever she wants... Dare she defy Sister Cheng and establish some kind of kept relationship with a client behind her back? Once in that kind of relationship, it involves the backgrounds of both sides, which the company absolutely doesn’t allow. Besides, Mr. Shi doesn’t even pay, he can have her accompany him overnight for free, why should he give her any more promises or commitments? Or does she have a dreamlike fantasy, thinking her life will change because of this man?
She realizes that many things are dreams, are empty, are illusions, are just wishful thinking Daydreaming.
Like all the girls working this business, they refuse to admit it or face it, instead using sex, money, indulgence, alcohol, speed, irreverence, madness... even drugs to escape. Those are scars, taboos, absolutely forbidden for others to hint at, yet in her own dreams, they repeatedly torment her pain. She can lie to her parents, lie to her friends, lie to her boyfriend, lie to her colleagues, even lie to herself, but she can never lie to the "client": herself, she’s here to sell! She belongs to this world, though seemingly more noble, reserved, wealthy, sophisticated, she still belongs to this world, even if it’s just the edges; herself, she’s here to sell!