Chapter 186: THAT WOULD WORK
HANEUL turned toward the voice and saw Taeyang leaning against the wall, his hands tucked into the pockets of his sweatpants. The morning light from a nearby porthole fell across him, highlighting the clean line of his jaw and the relaxed confidence in his posture. He looked effortlessly handsome, and Haneul felt his breath catch for a second.
The other seemed much more relaxed than usual. His shoulders were loose rather than tense, and he stood in a comfortable slouch against the wall. The corner of his mouth was turned up in a small, easy smile, and his gray eyes held a calm warmth as he looked at Haneul. There was no trace of the guarded tension that usually defined his expression.
Taeyang pushed himself away from the wall and walked over to Haneul. He stopped a respectful distance in front of him, still wearing that small, relaxed smile.
Haneul looked up at the other and blinked. His mind was still processing why Taeyang was standing there. Without thinking, he heard himself ask, "Why are you here?"
Taeyang looked at him and let out a soft chuckle. "I was waiting for you. I was hoping we could have breakfast together. So, can we?"
Haneul was speechless for a moment. Taeyang had been waiting just to have breakfast with him? That’s...
"You probably think this seems unlike me," Taeyang said, reading his thoughts. "But after our conversation yesterday, you can’t expect me to keep my distance. I already tried that and it failed. So I might as well be honest about what I want. Besides, how can I make you like me back if I don’t put in the effort?"
Haneul felt warmth spread across his cheeks at the straightforward confession. His face grew noticeably warmer, and he had to fight the urge to look away.
He cleared his throat and managed to reply in a steady voice, "Alright then, let’s go."
He turned and began walking toward the dining hall.
Taeyang watched Haneul’s stiff posture and smiled to himself before catching up and falling into step beside him. Truthfully, he had been unsure about this approach earlier. He didn’t want to seem too pushy or appear desperate. But as he’d told Haneul, he was done with keeping his distance. So instead of overthinking it, he simply followed what his heart was telling him to do.
Remembering yesterday’s events, the small smile on his face gradually widened into a happy grin. While the start of his conversation with Haneul had felt nearly disastrous, the ending had been better than he ever expected. Haneul might not have said he felt the same way, but he hadn’t rejected him either.
That was a good sign. It meant he had a chance to give Haneul reasons to like him back.
Now he felt truly grateful that he had been honest with Haneul during their conversation yesterday. If he hadn’t been, they probably wouldn’t be walking together like this right now. Haneul might have been the one avoiding him, perhaps not even wanting to look in his direction. The mere thought of that possibility made Taeyang feel a surge of frustration that made him want to destroy things. For once, he was relieved that choosing honesty hadn’t backfired on him.
After their conversation, he felt like he was on cloud nine. He spent the rest of yesterday feeling light and distracted. He didn’t even mind Park Mirae buzzing around him like some pesky fly, because his mind was completely focused on Haneul. He even questioned why he had ever tried to fight his attraction to the other in the first place.
No, he knew exactly why he had resisted. As he had told Haneul, he was afraid his feelings would be too intense for the other. A more selfless person would have done the right thing and maintained their distance. But he was a selfish son of a bitch in every sense of the word. When he heard Haneul tell him to stay away, his mind rejected the idea completely. The powerful urge to grab Haneul and not let go was so overwhelming that he had to clench his fists tightly, his nails nearly cutting into his palms, just to stop himself from doing it.
And so, he found himself telling the other what he truly felt. But still, he had to make sure he wouldn’t cross the line. The last thing he wanted was for Haneul ever regret giving him a chance.
Taeyang glanced down at Haneul, a soft smile naturally forming on his lips.
"Haneul-ah."
The sudden call, spoken with unexpected familiarity, made Haneul jump. It wasn’t just hearing his name, but the intimate way Taeyang said it. He turned and found himself stammering. "Y-yes?"
"If I ever make you feel uncomfortable, please tell me honestly," Taeyang said. "I don’t want to be the reason you feel uneasy around me. I want this... whatever this is between us... to feel safe for you."
Haneul hadn’t expected Taeyang to say that. Was this connected to what he had mentioned yesterday about hyperfixating on things he liked? If so, then Taeyang wasn’t giving himself enough credit. The simple fact that he recognized this about himself and was actively trying to restrain his behavior for Haneul’s comfort showed how seriously he wanted this, whatever this was between them, to work.
Haneul felt a genuine appreciation for Taeyang’s words. The other’s self-awareness and willingness to change his behavior showed real consideration. It was a practical kind of care that felt more meaningful than empty promises.
So he smiled at the other. "Don’t worry. If you ever start acting like a possessive, obsessive caveman, I’ll kick you hard enough to knock some sense back into you."
Taeyang blinked and then laughed, the sound rich and warm, rolling through the quiet hallway. It was a sound Haneul had never heard from him before, and it made something in his chest tighten with a strange, pleasant fascination.
He had to fight the impulse to reach out and just... He wasn’t even sure what he wanted to do.
Taeyang’s laughter faded into a soft smile as he looked down at Haneul. "Yeah, I think that would work."