Chapter 184: WILL NEVER CHANGE
HANEUL blinked, his mind slowly working through everything he had just heard. He needed to be sure he was understanding this correctly and not just imagining things. But one look at Taeyang’s face confirmed it. The usual guarded look was gone, replaced by eyes that held his gaze without flinching and a mouth set in a firm, earnest line. There was no trace of deception or mockery, only straightforward honesty.
So, what Taeyang just said was... his true feelings?
The moment the meaning fully settled in his mind, Haneul felt a sudden heat spread across his skin. It started at his neck and crept upward, warming his cheeks and the tips of his ears. His heartbeat, which had been steady, now felt noticeably quicker against his ribs. The urge to look away from Taeyang’s direct gaze was strong, but he found he couldn’t break the eye contact.
Taeyang had just confessed that his attraction was based on Haneul’s personality, his looks, and his voice more than just his pheromones. But he also explained that his Alpha instincts, along with his personal tendency to hyper-fixate, created a genuine risk that he might become obsessed with Haneul.
He should be frightened. Taeyang had basically admitted he had the potential to become a stalker if he didn’t keep his distance. But instead of fear, Haneul felt his heart quicken into a steady, heavy rhythm against his ribs. A flush of warmth bloomed in his chest, part flattery that he could inspire such intense feelings, and part startling happiness that made no logical sense.
He mentally scolded himself for that reaction. What was wrong with him? Why should he feel this giddy because of a confession like that? He felt like one of those main characters in a dark romance novel who wouldn’t mind being stalked as long as the stalker was attractive. Was he really that shallow of a person? Or was he just so starved for compliments and attention that this was how he reacted?
No, it was neither of those things. Haneul might have traveled to the past and become an Omega, but that didn’t change his core personality. He wasn’t the type of person who would normally react this way. The only possible explanation was that, on some fundamental level, he was also attracted to Taeyang.
Maybe at first it was just a fan’s admiration for an artist they liked. But the more he got to know Taeyang, the more he felt drawn to him, almost like a magnet. Unlike Taeyang, however, he couldn’t be sure if the other’s pheromones had played no part in that pull.
"Haneul."
Taeyang’s voice startled Haneul so much he nearly flinched. He had been so deep in his own thoughts that the sound caught him completely off guard. Taeyang must have noticed his reaction because a brief wince flickered across his face.
"I’d appreciate it if you could give me an answer," he said, his voice quiet. His expression was not particularly hopeful. "Please be honest. If you tell me to stay away from you for the rest of this program, I will do my best to respect that."
As Haneul watched Taeyang, the other looked like he had already readied for rejection. His shoulders were slightly slumped, and his gray eyes held a resigned acceptance rather than any expectation of a positive answer. The line of his mouth was neutral, not quite a frown but far from a smile, as if he had already played out this conversation in his head and prepared for the worst outcome. He looked like a man waiting for a verdict he fully expected to go against him.
Was that really what Haneul wanted? He realized he already knew the answer before he’d even finished asking himself the question.
"You don’t need to stay away."
Yes, he did not want Taeyang to stay away. Even though he remained uncertain about his own feelings, he knew he did not want the other to return to his hot and cold behavior. That would only confuse him further and make it harder to focus on much more important things. At least, that was what he tried to tell himself.
But if he was truly being honest with himself, he simply did not want them to grow apart. Because that would be the natural outcome if Taeyang continued to avoid him. And he had no doubt that Taeyang would do exactly that if Haneul told him to stay away.
Haneul saw Taeyang’s expression change after he spoke. The resigned look faded, replaced first by confusion as his brows drew together. Then shock widened his eyes slightly. Finally, a clear disbelief settled over his features, as if he was processing a response he had not allowed himself to expect.
"...What?"
Haneul almost chuckled because the rapid series of expressions crossing Taeyang’s face was genuinely amusing to watch.
A soft smile crossed his lips as he spoke. "You don’t need to stay away." He paused, his tone turning more serious. "I’ll make sure to always use scent blockers so my pheromones won’t affect you. I hope you’ll do the same."
"Yes, of course," Taeyang answered quickly, though he still looked like he couldn’t quite believe what was happening.
Haneul let out a small breath, searching for the right words. "Look, I... I can’t really give you an answer right now. Honestly, I’m still very much clueless about my own feelings." He met Taeyang’s gaze, wanting to make certain he understood. "But the one thing I know for sure is that I don’t want us to just... stop talking. I’d rather we try being friends." A faint, hopeful smile touched his lips. "So if, when all this is over, you still feel the same way... ask me again. I’ll definitely have an answer for you then."
Haneul watched as a brilliant smile broke across Taeyang’s face, so wide it showed his teeth and made his eyes crinkle at the corners. A quiet, breathy laugh escaped him, his shoulders relaxing visibly as the last trace of worry left his posture. The gray of his eyes seemed to brighten, as if a heavy weight had just been lifted from him.
"Then, I will wait," Taeyang said.
Because there’s no way his feelings would change.